Number 1000!!! Friday, October 28th - Larry H. publishes his one thousandth movie review 1997-2022
Larry H's Movie Reviews for 2007 (53)       First  Prev  Next          Sort by Title:  Asc   Desc    Sort by Date:  Asc   Desc
Dates are United States release dates
Wild Hogs
April 19, 2007
If you are looking for a light-hearted-middle-aged-men-go-on-a-road-trip movie, then this is for you. The four "Wild Hogs" are John Travolta, Tim Allen, Martin Lawrence, and William H. Macy. Each of them has reached various levels of unhappiness and dysfunction in their mundane and meaningless lives so Woody (Travolta) convinces them to take off on their Harleys and "...head to the Pacific without any plans...and no cell phones."

They were not even particularly skilled bikers but they have leather jackets and boots and off they go. I started laughing early and continued with snickers and an occasional belly laugh. This ain't Oscar material but it doesn't pretend to be anything other than a silly, feel-good movie with some likeable characters acting stupid, brave, heroic, and more stupider. (I know you can't say "more stupider" but it felt right.)

I only went to this movie because of two reasons: 1. I was in a mellow spring mood and wanted silly and stupid and 2. Monique H. was not with me. Mission accomplished. Now I can go home having successfully completed my week. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 84. Larry H.
Blades of Glory
March 30, 2007
I have two things to say about this movie:
1) I ate too much for lunch and couldn't eat as much popcorn as required for a well-rounded diet.
2) This movie is dumb as a board and I laughed inappropriately and often.

Will "Ricky Bobby" Ferrell and Jon "Napoleon Dynamite" Heder are teamed together as Olympic ice skaters that were stripped of their gold medals and permanently banned from men's single competition. However, they found a loophole that will allow them to qualify as a pairs team. Ferrell is a throw back to Jim Morrison and Heder is a weird creation to an effeminate Napoleon Dynamite. This movie does not pretend to be normal or appeal to mainstream. If you have the sense of humor of a 12 year old middle school drop-out, then you will be good to go for this flick.

It is a combination of: Austin Powers, Monty Python, Anchorman Ron Burgandy/Legend of Ricky Bobby, Napoleon Dynamite, and Rocky Horror Picture Show. There were about 17 of us in one of Loew's giant theatres so each of us could hear the other laugh; I noticed folks looking at me over their shoulders. I know I belted out some embarrassing belly laughs, but Will Ferrell kills me and Jon Heder was the perfect mate. Tagline: Kick Some Ice!

Jenna Fischer, Pam from "The Office," had a break-through performance and will be the big winner. I can not recommend this movie, but if you're down and out and need a few laughs at others expense, then buy a ticket and take a chance. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 79. Larry H.
Shooter
March 23, 2007
I had planned to shoot a multi-gun match (AR-15, 12 gauge, and .38 Super) today but we got rained out. A clap of thunder awakened me at 6:37 am; it was a nice rain. So what's a boy to do? I put Monique H. in the truck and carried her to the theatre. She's a nice girl; on Tuesday it will be 26 years!

"Shooter" starring Mark Wahlberg is a little bit better shooter than I am. I'm good out to about 300+ yards. Ex-Marine Gunnery Sgt. Bob Lee Swagger (Wahlberg) is good out to about 1500 yards when shooting his US Marine issue M40A3 Sniper Rifle that is fully tricked out with high powered scope etc. And Sgt Swagger can put one in the bullseye at over 1720 yards, but that is rare even for snipers. So rare that he is recruited out of "retirement" from his peaceful life in Wyoming where he shares a picturesque cabin with only his dog Sam. Bob Lee's mission is to assist in preventing an assisnation attempt on the President at a distance of over a mile. Being the good American that he is, he participates in what he thinks is a legitimate government operation, but he is acutally set up as the fall guy and must go underground to save himself and expose the bad guys.

This movie is an action thriller because it has a lot of action and a lot of thrilling suspenseful scenes. The film editing is brilliant and the script is tight. It has a great beginning, middle, and ending. More than once I had to reach over to hold Monique H's hand because I was scared. At least that's what I told her; she always holds my right hand with her two-hand clasp if she thinks I'm "scared." This flick is definitely worth a trip to the theatre on a rainy Saturday morning. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 90. Larry H.
Perfect Strangers
April 13, 2007
"Perfect Strangers" is a perfect bust and I'm not talking about Halle Berry. Pretty Girl goes undercover to nail Harrison Hill (Bruce Willis) as the probable rich murderer of her childhood girl friend Grace. And I wished they would've killed each other as I didn't care a wit about any of them. They could all go jump in the Hudson River for all I care. They were all a bunch of Ho's. No wait a minute; I take that back. My bad.

I like Bruce Willis movies, and Halle Berry is one the prettiest humans on earth so I blame it on the screenwriter. Off with his head! I deserved a good movie today because I've been working hard this week and barely made Monique H. mad at me this entire week. The crowd of about 40 seemed a little subdued, too. I was downright groggy.

This movie is designed for You People that think you're soooo smart that you can solve murder mysteries. I'm not very good at it so I just sit back and let it develop and then claim I knew it all along, but don't tell Monique H. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 71. Larry H.
Fracture
April 20, 2007
I let Monique H. pick the movie for our date. I'd hoped that she would choose "Next" starring Nicholas Cage, but after reading blurbs about movies on the net she chose "Fracture." She's a good movie picker.

This is an excellent well-written/directed film. The script is fast-paced and the editing is right on the mark. I usually don't comment on the lighting but this movie was intriguing and at times the shadows and light emphasis dominated the scenes so I'm giving all-around credit to Cinematographer Kramer Morgenthau. This paragraph is boring me so I will now tell you about my Mr. Pibb, popcorn, and Butterfingers; I ate and drank a lot and developed that full feeling.

This is a crime thriller/mystery. Anthony Hopkins is a brilliant rich guy who thinks his much younger wife is having an affair so he shoots her in the head with a Glock pistol: allegedly. Ryan Gosling is the young deputy DA who is assigned the case as he's "on his way out the door" to become a junior associate in a Corporate Law Firm with a beautiful blond boss. But he must prosecute the supposedly slam dunk case before he goes into the private sector to make the big bucks because we know that the Lord wants all private attorneys to make a large pile of money. Amen.

Monique H. and I admitted to each other after the movie that we were totally entranced with the plot and didn't want to miss a single word; it's clever and thought-provoking. And I liked all the characters! Spider Man rules! Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 92. Larry H.
Spider-Man 3
May 4, 2007
It's been a struggle to get in the theatre to see S-M 3. Today is Cinco de Mayo but the trek started on Cuatro de Mayo. Friday evening Monique H. and I were rejected at AMC and Loew's because of sellouts. I told the ticket clerk that I was Larry H. and the young woman said "...oh, hi, Jerry, sorry we're sold out."

I must write this quickly as the seventh game of the Rockets v. Utah Jazz is beginning and it's important that I focus my energy on supporting the Rockets as I'm afraid they need me. And Spider-Man director Sam Raimi needed me about a year ago when he was making his final editing cuts. I could have pointed out a few scenes that should have been whacked; this Spidey flick was too long. I felt like I was on a roller coaster of emotions. Great beginning faded into near boredom and then back to intense action and character development and then back to a lull.

I enjoyed most of the movie, but a good movie should not have gaps of interest. If you are a Spidey, then go see Tobey and Kirsten. The music by Danny Elfman is wonderful and the special effects are spectacular. The Rockets are down by seven points in the first quarter; I'm worried. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 87. Larry H. Note: I couldn't save the Rockets...
Shrek the Third
May 18, 2007
Shrek the Third is one too many for me. I liked Shrek the First a lot and was ok with the Second, but this one had it's moments but overall was weak.

Now if you are under five, there is great hope for you. I sneaked off to the 11 o'clock show Friday morning and there were lots of small children in Loew's Theatre 17 with me. Theatre #17 is one of those giant theatres (capacity 681) so I sat about half up on my usual aisle seat. I was fortunate to sit mid-level because it afforded me the opportunity to listen to kids laugh and squeal in stereo. There must have been a Mother's Day Out group behind me that seemed quite pleased to be at the movies on this gorgeous Friday.

The moms had things under control for the first hour and then must have just said "oh to heck with it...let 'em rip and roar." I actually enjoyed the kids using their outside voices in the theatre; reminded me of the old days when Eric H. was a crazy kid.

This DreamWorks production is done with class and the music is wonderful, but the story was tired and lacked passion. Shrek the Third will be a box-office bonanza because the stars' voices and the animation are legendary, but as the cashier told Jerry Seinfeld "...I've seen your act and it just doesn't do it for me." Rock 'n Roll.

Grade: NR Larry H.
Also known as "Pirates 3." I've been trying to see this movie for three days; I've been busy shopping with She Who Must Not Be Named and going to high school graduation parties: congratulations to Brandon S., Steve J., and April F. and college grad Laura M.

This movie is over 2 1/2 hours so get ready for a long haul, Mate. The old gang of Orlando Bloom (Will Turner) and Keira Knightley (Elizabeth Swan) and Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) form an unlikely team to find and free Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp). It took them almost 45 minutes to find Captain Jack and I was getting impatient because Jackie is my favorite pirate and my interest is high when Depp's Captain Jack is on the screen.

I've decided this Captain Jack is a cross between Spider-Man and Eddie Haskell with a touch of The Scarecrow except this character's got a brain. If you liked the first two "Pirates" then you'll like this one; it's just simple fantasy and fun. Is that so wrong?

Plenty of dueling Pirate Lords, the dead, the un-dead, the soon to be un-un-dead, and the soon to be dead probably. You will need a program to keep up with the players, but then again I knew I was missing the nuances of the story but I didn't care and don't think it mattered. Just set sail for the voyage. The closing battle lasted about an hour.

These pirates had decidedly bad teeth; must have inherited their dental hygiene from the British; all of the pirates except Ms. Knightley who has pretty white teeth. I figured Director Gore Verbinski just couldn't allow make-up to mess up the good looks of the only fox in a den of uglies...aarrrrggghhh. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 87. Larry H.
Mr. Brooks
May 22, 2007
This Mr. Brooks (Kevin Costner) is a serial killer and his alter ego, who appears on camera and whispers murderous advice in the background, is played by William Hurt. That combo alone made me want to buy a ticket. Throw in Demi Moore as the detective cop that is hot on Mr. Brooks' trail and this plot sounds like a must-see movie. Slight problem. Let me try to explain it by the numbers:

20 - number of times this movie gave me the creeps
100 - minutes of this 120 minute movie that I was sweating
??? - number of people who got whacked
0 - number of times I ever want to see this movie again
4 - number of outstanding acting performances (add Danielle Panabaker)
3 - number of times I was downright frightened

Color me a sissy on this one. I did not like nor could I relate to anyone in this flick, but I don't think the writers, director, or producers cared. It was all about the story and intrigue of this twisted murderer that went to AA meetings and said the serenity prayer often because he was "addicted" to murder. And now you know why I got the creeps. I give this movie high marks for altering my emotions which is a primary goal of a good movie, but dang. I'm in it for a good time and now I think I need counseling. Some of you people will love this movie and rave about the deep thought-provoking aspect of modern-day reality, but most of you should keep that Memorial Day party atmosphere alive for another weekend and "...change the things you can." Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 86. Larry H.
Ocean's Thirteen
June 8, 2007
This is the third installment of Danny Ocean (George Clooney) and the gang ripping off the bad guys in Las Vegas. They only steal from the unsrupulous hotel owner because Mr. Big (Al Pacino) is arrogant and has offended one of Danny's boy. In this case, the offended one is Rueben Tishkoff (Elliot Gould). Danny's main lieutenants are once again Rusty Ryan (Brad Pitt) and Linus Caldwell (Matt Damon) which translates into a can't-miss movie - NOT.

I was so bored I almost walked out numerous times, but gave director Steven Soderbergh the benefit of the doubt because he's a big-time director and the cast is huge. Let me try to crytallize my thoughts so you will better understand my true feelings about this "Ocean's": Spit in the Ocean...er Spit ON the Ocean; My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean; Ocean's Half Dozen; and my number one - Go jump in the Ocean! Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 69. Larry H.
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