Number 1000!!! – Friday, October 28th - Larry H. publishes his one thousandth movie review 1997-2017
Larry H's Movie Reviews for 2017 (23)       First  Prev  Next          Sort by Title:  Asc   Desc    Sort by Date:  Asc   Desc
Dates are United States release dates
September 15, 2017
My mother would not have liked this movie. Mothers are sweet, loving and insightful. Not crazy, explosive, frenzied and frantic. But, I guess you, too, might be unbalanced and unhinged if married to Javier Bardem’s character referred to in the lineup as “Him.”
And some of the other character names are: Man, Woman, Younger Brother, Oldest Son, Philanderer, Bumbler, and my favorite – Fool. Oh, I forgot to include Mother played by the super-talented, Oscar-winner Jennifer Lawrence. Please don’t blame J Law for this debacle.
Who should we blame, Larry H? Darron “I’ve Also Directed The Wrestler (2008) and Black Swan (2010) And I Know A Thing Or Two About Movies So Trust Me On This One” Aronofsky. He wrote this bizarre screenplay and then directed an all-star cast who apparently bought in on the premise that his inexplicably weird tale of family - ten steps beyond dysfunction and believability would be entertaining at a level justifying the star power of Lawrence, Bardem, Ed Harris, and Michelle Pfeiffer.
The acting was not a problem. The failure to deliver any semblance of resolution and vision for the ticket-buying public was the problem. I waited the entire movie for the payoff. No payoff. If there was a payoff, it was under the Hollywood table because I sure as heck didn’t see it on the screen.
Aronofsky smoked one too many doobies and before he came down, he attempted to capture his hallucination and trick me into buying a ticket to see four of the outstanding actors currently in Hollywood perform scene after scene that were meaningless and without entertainment value.
While I agree, there are a few memorable vignettes in this mindless stream of Aronofsky’s unconsciousness, the overall package was damaged goods. Thanks goodness the popcorn was good. Rock ‘n Roll.
Grade 74. Larry H.
The Glass Castle
August 11, 2017
It is the responsibility of the director of a movie to set the tone early in order to establish the theme and message of the film. Most good directors can hook an audience with opening scenes and then successfully build solid character development and then bring it home in the third act.
We all know how it works and so does director/co-writer Destin Daniel Cretton which meant that after 45 minutes of watching this film, I was convinced that the melody and texture of “The Glass Castle” was set in stone and there was no hope that I could possibly like this movie.
The movie is based on the memoir by Jeannette Walls, born in 1960, who shares the story of her own dysfunctional family who travelled by car with all of the worldly possessions from one shack to the next dump without running water and electricity. The father played by Woody Harrelson is in full denial of his drinking problem and Mamma Walls, portrayed by Naomi Watts is a flighty artist who is the classic enabler while she ignores the needs of her small children.
And the definition of fun by slapping and belittling young children in the Walls Family was pure, unadulterated child abuse and Director Destin Daniel, gotta admit that’s a pretty cool name, passed it off as charming and a healthy part of life experiences. I have not read Walls book and I’m sure there is some sort of happy ending as she grows up to become a successful journalist, but this movie was offensive in its subtle depiction of physical and mental abuse of the Walls children.
After 45 minutes of almost zero humor and endearment, I decided that I would not participate in this sorry excuse of a movie and I bounced. I know that life is difficult but you don’t have to use children to make that point when in fact the adults were mean and unkind hidden in the good looks and charisma of Harrelson and Watts.
I hate this movie and will not read the book. But here’s some good news; there’s always next week’s movie – “Lucky Logan” starring Channing Tatum and Adam Driver and “The Hitman’s Bodyguard” with Samuel L. Jackson and Ryan Reynolds. Rock ‘n Roll.
Grade 65W. Larry H.
The Dark Tower
August 4, 2017
If you are a fan of Stephen King and can’t wait until his next book comes out, AND you’ve read all eight of his books in the Dark Tower series, then this movie is for you. Otherwise go see “Kidnap” starring Halle Berry. I’ve seen “Detroit;” it’s an excellent movie about race in the 60’s so you might consider it.
“The Dark Tower” is typical of the fertile imagination of Crazy King. It’s billed as an eternal fight between Roland Deschain, The Gunslinger played by Idris Elba, and Walter O’Dim portrayed by our very own Matthew McConaughey. And that’s how I got tricked into seeing this film. Elba has done some outstanding work lately for the Marvel Cinematic Universe as Heimdall and, of course, I’ve bought into the whole Matthew McConaughey shtick – Alright, Alright, Alright.
King and Director Nikolaj Acrecl, from Copenhagen Denmark, made sure that the audience was on a journey of Good versus Evil. And guess who was evil? Hint: McConaughey was dressed in all black with jet black hair that stood on end and it seemed very hot at his house. And Elba mentored a young boy and carried two Remington 1858 Revolvers and could shoot faster than John Wayne. Oh yeah, The Last Gunslinger also wore a really cool duster and authentic cowboy boots.
It seems that The Dark Tower is considered the center of Crazy King’s universe which gets its power from six beams and are, in effect, twelve spokes; blah, blah, blah. I’ve read a few books by Stephen King, but none of The Dark Tower series that was first published in 1982. Rumor mill is that this movie has taken ten years to make it to the big screen.
That rumor came to me via one of my audience members who was a twenty-something woman wearing a Billy Joel Touring shirt and desperately wanted to talk about the movie as we were walking out of Theatre #5. I’m a friendly guy so I responded by asking “… what did you think of the movie?” And this sweet young Kingite gushed “oh, I loved it; didn’t you?” “Yes ma’am,” he said with Boy Scout enthusiasm.
Back to the movie: It’s important to understand that Tom Taylor (the big winner), age about 12, plays Jake Chambers, the boy who has special powers and “the shine.” Jake and The Gunslinger travel together and are looking for a portal. Who among us is not looking for a portal? Anyway, Jake lives in a Manhattan apartment with his mother and unloving stepfather, but he escapes attempts to place him a looney bin and ends up in another dimension helping The Last Gunslinger fight his nemesis. Okay by me.
Stephen King is one of the most successful writers of our time and has sold approximately 350 million copies of his books which have been made into many movies. Rock ‘n Roll.
Grade 75. Larry H.
July 21, 2017
Director/Writer Christopher Nolan has made his mark with “Dunkirk.” His work on “The Dark Knight,” “Man of Steel” and others such as “Prestige” put him on the Hollywood map, but this stupendous piece of movie-making will reserve a seat for him at the Big Boys Table for creative thinking and mastery of the craft.
This film is a story about British and French soldiers trapped on the beach at Dunkirk in 1940 and the Germans are closing in fast while enemy planes are bombarding men packed onto ships with no cover who are “sitting ducks.” And the seemingly helpless warriors are attempting to hold on while praying for relief which would be a miracle.
Nolan had a $150 million budget, but he used every nickel on the construction of magnificent sets and thrilling action that dropped the battlefield into the laps of the audience. I felt like I was in this fight and I was scared of the shooting, bombing, and drowning. This battle was too one-sided and unfair. Whoever said “War is Hell” knew about Dunkirk.
The dialogue is minimal and the character development is just enough to allow the viewer to choose sides and understand the courage, desperation, and the anxiety of hopelessness. When I say that the “dialogue is minimal;” that’s an understatement. That is part of Nolan’s genius for this movie, and he took a huge directorial leap of faith by allowing this film to speak through the action on the screen; not the explanations or narration by his characters.
My music hero, Hans Zimmer, will surely garner a nom for his score. The music is not the type of songs that will make you want to sing along with the characters, but the strings will keep you on the edge of your seat and heart pumping every time Nolan dictates the next emotional step. The Maestro has been nominated nine times and won the Oscar for “The Lion King” in 1994; he’s due. Zimmer and Nolan worked together on “The Dark Knight.”
The movie is all about the action and the emotions of warfare so the actors don’t really have a great opportunity to shine. But, big props to the revered stage-actor Mark Rylance as the British civilian who steps into the war. He probably will not get any nominations for this performance, but I was riveted by his portrayal of the captain of a small “family yacht” sailing toward Dunkirk. Reminder: Rylance won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor when he shared the screen with Tom Hanks in “Bridge of Spies” in 2015.
Since the Battle of Dunkirk occurred before the Americans entered WWII, it does not have the historical flair or reputation of post 1941. Nolan, however, being the Brit that he is, clearly understands the grit and greatness that occurred on those beaches. Rock ‘n Roll.
Grade 91. Larry H.
Baby Driver
June 30, 2017
This is Ansel Elgort’s coming out party. He’s only 23, but he is THE star as “Baby” of this movie which is blessed with other big names like Kevin “House of Cards” Spacey, Jon “Mad Men” Hamm, Jon “Walking Dead” Bernthal, and Jamie “Oscar Winner” Foxx.
And here’s some of the names of the characters who make up the bank-robbing gang led by Doc: Buddy, Bats, Eddie No-Nose, JD, Griff, and Darling. And the super-skilled, tire-burning getaway driver is named Baby who perpetually wears dark sunglasses and ear buds so he can listen to music while Doc is explaining the details of the next big heist.
And this entertaining and amusing band of charming hoodlums is the product of writer/director Edgar Wright’s fertile imagination. Wright at 43, has already reach enough success to convince these big-dog actors to play along in his Taratinoesque light-hearted car chase and bang-bang film with lots of blood and complicated good guys who kill people without regret.
“Shaun of the Dead” in 2004 is probably Wright’s biggest jewel prior to “Baby Driver” but this cleverly-scripted movie and box office success will open many financial doors for this Brit. He and Ansel Elgort will forever be merged in their careers as this movie might reach cult level.
Elgort’s classic good looks and pleasant smile will serve this talented actor well as he will continue to get hunky parts for the lead male who isn’t afraid to show his emotions. The love story in this movie (of course Wright injected the forbidden love of two young, bright-eyed and misguided twenty-somethings) blossomed in the midst of a cops and robbers farce filled with automatic weapons and intrigue.
Biggest winner other than Wright and Elgort: Lily James as Debora the waitress who falls in love with Baby. For those of you keeping score, she was Lady Rose MacClare on “Downton Abbey.” And yes, Lily James was born in England in 1989.
“Baby Driver” has had some big buzz and anticipation; my film-critic friend Travis L. thinks “it’s the best movie of the year; so far.” I wouldn’t go that far, but this flick is enjoyable and ingenious. Bravo Edgar Wright! Rock ‘n Roll.
Grade 90. Larry H.
The Book of Henry
June 16, 2017
Excellent script by Gregg Hurwitz and direction by Colin Trevorrow was on the mark and kid-friendly because his young stars performed like seasoned adults when needed. The family in this movie is anchored by eleven-year-old Henry who has the intelligence of an Einstein and the maturity of… (awkward pause) I’m sorry I can’t think of anyone that I know who is mature. But you get the point.
Henry Carpenter went to a regular school because his mom (Naomi Watts) wanted him to develop some healthy age-appropriate social skills. Watts’ character, the single mom, played video games and left the financial decisions to Henry. Another wise decision by the waitress-mother who deeply loved Henry and his younger brother, Peter. Henry made stock trades on a pay phone apparently because he was too young to have a cell phone.
Strange family. But, they are loveable and the character development was fantastic. And that is the key to any movie. I understood and liked these characters so I knew that Director Trevorrow was setting me up for the punch in the gut. And if one is trying to embellish, a Hitchcockian suspense and twist.
There’s not a dull moment in this low-budget film about love, devotion, and doing the next right thing. Estimated $10 million which is extremely low by Little Tom Cruise’s standards, but his “The Mummy” laid an egg for $125 million. So who’s counting? Not me; these simple sets, haunting music, thoughtful costumes, and zero special effects make this film distinctive and evocative.
Big winners: everyone in the film and/or connected to it in any manner; “The Book of Henry” is a huge victor worthy of much acclaim and gold.
Great movies invariably have great casts and this is no exception. Biggest surprise – Sarah Silverman in low-cut blouses, heavy make-up and a drink in her hand. Jaeden Lieberher, 14, as Henry, has carved out an acting career for himself as the multi-layered boy-genius who portrayed kindness, insight, and compassion. Dean “Breaking Bad” Norris is the stern cop living next door to the Carpenters and Lee “Halt and Catch Fire” Pace plays a brain surgeon who will make a house call under the right circumstances.
Target audience: teenage girls based on my audience. And I heard all of them sniffling and shuffling when things got emotionally tender. This flick is high on the “Heart Strings” scale. Take a hanky and have fun. Rock ‘n Roll.
Grade 90. Larry H.
The Mummy
June 9, 2017
Little Tommy Cruise mailed this one in. But if you want to see him in the buff, there is a brief scene of nudity early in the film where he is standing and tiptoeing in his birthday suit. At age 54, Cruise still has a pretty chiseled body; good for you, Tommy.
This is one of the movies that Universal hopes to establish their genre of “Dark Universe” films to catapult their stock in monster movies. We shall see. They stuck about $125 million in this one. I bet Little Tommy got a big chunk of that.
Cruise might be a controversial Hollywood figure, but his recent successes in the Mission Impossible and Jack Reacher franchises, as well as a long career that includes “Top Gun” make him relevant and a box office draw. And yes, the rumor is true; “Top Gun: Maverick” is in pre-production. Whatever that means.
In “The Mummy” an ancient princess, who made a deal with Dark Forces and has even darker secrets, makes her return of terror. She has tats all over her body including her face; she’s badass. And she eats people’s faces. “Face-eating, Jack?” comes to mind when the loveable Jack (Steven Guttenberg) asked the alien Walter (Brian Dennehy) about that delicacy in one of my all-time favorites – “Cocoon” 1985. I apologize for my momentary reminiscent take of that great movie, but I’m trying to say something positive.
Cause this movie stinks. Director/Co-writer Alex Kurtzman lost total control of this flick and turned it into a silly kick-boxing, knife gouging, face-eating farce. At age 44, Kurtzman has had some phenomenal achievements with “Transformers” (2007) “The Amazing Spider-Man 2” (2014) and “Star Trek” (2009). Can’t win ‘em all, Alex.
I’m confident I went to sleep during “The Mummy” but I can’t be 100% sure. My head was bobbing and I jerked my head up and could not decipher the scene sequence on the screen, and I had that moment of embarrassment wondering if anyone realized that Larry H. had just taken a dive. I think that’s a nap.
I was thrilled when “The Mummy” was over so I could get on with my life. Please don’t waste your money. Rock ‘n Roll.
Grade 69. Larry H.
It is accepted as truth that “Dead Men Tell No Tales” unless they are the Un-Dead, and in yet another movie with Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp). This fifth installment of the “Pirates of the Caribbean” franchise also stars Javier Bardem as a competing ghost Captain of the Ship – that would be Captain Salazar who has a see-through body and heavy gross stuff on his face.
That “gross-stuff” makeup is part of the fun and shtick of these crazy Pirates that fight with swords, but never seem to die. Jack Sparrow is still his charming self who also needs some rehab; the boy has a serious drinking problem, but he sloshes his way through death and defiance without a scratch. It’s that clean living of a Johnny Depp character.
The ”Pirates of the Caribbean” film series began in 2003 when Captain Jack and the crew sailed into our lives in “The Curse of the Black Pearl.” Before we/I start ripping this movie, let’s remember that the first four movies that were innocently based on the theme-park ride at Walt Disney, have sold tickets worth $3.73 billion and Depp was nominated for Best Actor for “The Curse of the Black Pearl.”
In 2003, the world was fascinated with Captain Jack and while Depp was nominated for an Oscar; he didn’t win, but to get nominated for a part where he plays a schmuck pirate with gold teeth and a silly grin is noteworthy. His portrayal of the adorable Jack Sparrow in “Dead Men Tell No Tales,” is not worthy of a high school award much less an award for a captain on the high seas. Oh, how times have changes. But, the money is still good.
Will this fifth movie top $4 billion in total franchise sales – domestic? Not counting worldwide, pirate product, and video games. Even though this movie suffers from the Rocky Syndrome, it will be a mild success and top four billion, but barely.
Bigger question: will there be a Pirates Six? Of course! With this kind of money flowing, who cares about the product. Hey, that’s not fair. This movie leaves it all on the screen and Directors Joachim Ronning and Espen Sandberg spent many millions on sets and special effects, but there’s only so many ways that Captain Jack and the boys can become entangled with a beautiful femme fatale and a mysterious cure for curses or a map to riches.
I was glad to see 65 year-old Geoffrey Rush reprise his role as Captain Hector Barbossa who looked more like the Cowardly Lion than a treacherous pirate. After you see this movie, let me know if you also had visions of the Wizard of Oz when you see Barbossa’s costume.
This is a “pay your money and takes your changes” experience. You know if you think big music and fantasy stories are appealing. I would have preferred to wait for the DVD. Rock ‘n Roll.
Grade 72. Larry H.
I’ve always known that Director Guy Ritchie had extraordinary powers to convince others to do what he wanted them to do when he married Madonna in December, 2000. So, he was once again able to acquire the money to make this fantasy film about the struggles of King Arthur. I thought we already covered that; how many movies and books have been produced about good ole Arthur.
Ritchie and his two co-writers evidently think we needed at least one more starring Charlie Hunnam who is best known as Jax Teller of the hugely successful TV series “Sons of Anarchy.” (2008-2014). I chose this movie for my Friday afternoon delight primarily because I wanted to see my boy Charlie Hunnam make the transition to the big screen. Ritchie and Hunnam are both Brits so not a big stretch for either of them to want to explore the back alleys of Londinium through the eyes of young Arthur and his crew.
In this version of King Arthur, he still pulls Excalibur from the rock, but then he’s bewildered how to control its powers and to handle it emotionally. And that mean old Vortigern (Jude Law) kills Arthur’s parents and steals his crown; darn the luck. But Arthur joins the resistance and fights his way back to the thrown; or does he? I wouldn’t know because I left about an hour and twenty minutes into this fraudulent flick.
I knew I shouldn’t have chosen this movie just to see Charlie Hunnam. During the opening scenes, I felt in my bones that “Ritchie’s messing with us.” Might have been the giant elephant-like woolly monsters with tusks 25 feet long.
Ritchie was able to corral an outstanding cast of Djimon Hounsou as Bedivere, Astrid Berges-Frisbey as The Mage, Eric Bana as Uther, and “Game of Thrones’” Littlefinger, Aidan Gillen who played Bill. All of that talent was lost on a silly, sophomoric story and special effects and music that were over the top.
My crowd was small and unimpressed based on crowd body language. Go Rockets! Oh yeah, I forgot that James Harden and the boys wanted to take an early vacation so they skipped Game 6. Double dang it.
Grade 69W. Larry H. (Note: a “W” in Larry H’s grading system indicates that he walked out.)
Excerpt from my review of “Guardians of the Galaxy” (Vol. 1) even though we did not know in 2014 for certain that there would be a Vol. 2:
“Chris Pratt’s life is over as he knows it. He’s the breakout star of this movie where he plays Peter Quill aka Star Lord. Of course, it appears that no one refers to him as “Star Lord” but he believes it, so it’s amusing. Everything Pratt does in this movie is bouncing between charming, funny, or tongue-in-cheek. He’s having a laugh throughout the film even if disaster has befallen him. He will no longer just be known as Anna Faris’ husband or as the dimwitted Andy Dwyer from TV’s “Parks and Recreation.” Ditto.
My comments from August 1, 2014, are still accurate a mere three years later and now Marvel and Disney have blessed us with Volume 2. At least “they” will be blessed as this movie is destined to gross very large piles of money. Pratt, Zoe Saldana (Gamora), Dave Bautista (Drax), and Michael Rooker (Yondu) are bigtime Hollywood stars because of their gigs in Guardians. They are set for life in this fifteenth movie of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and the hits just keep on coming. There are at least seven more MCU movies already set for a theatre complex near you.
Established stars also quickly agree to participate in a MCU project because the previous 14 movies have been smash hits. “Iron Man” and Robert Downey Jr. started this bonanza in 2008 and then we’ve had The Hulk, Spiderman, Captain America, Thor, The Avengers, Ant Man, Black Widow and Doctor Strange. Stan Lee and Marvel Comics couldn’t be any hotter.
Let’s talk more about 94 year-old Stan Lee who is the Godfather of Marvel Comics. He and his partner Jack Kirby created superheroes beginning in the 1950’s. Lee is credited with the creation of “naturalistic characters” who had, in spite of being a superhero, fits of anger, emotional upheaval, relationship problems and financial woes. Just like the rest of us; except they could fly, jump, shoot and scoot while they saved the world or the entire universe if needed. We do love to escape to our superheroes.
Bradley Cooper certainly does not need to lend his voice to Rocket, the loveable and feisty racoon-looking Guardian of the Galaxy and neither does Vin Diesel as Baby Root, but they do it because these movies are fun and super-successful. Same for Kurt Russell and Sylvester Stallone. My favorite character: Taserface played by Chris Sullivan.
Director James Gunn wrote a brilliantly clever and humorous script and hired outstanding special effects and animation artists. This movie is one long fireworks display. Too long.
Eric H. and I saw this movie on a Thursday Night sneak preview at First Colony AMC. A very devoted crowd who clapped and laughed heartily. At times, I literally screamed with hoots and hollers, but in spite of this being a gloriously produced and directed film, I was not fully entertained by the story of Peter Quill and the gang trying to discover his true parentage while fighting bad guys of the cosmos and “…protecting valuable batteries from an interdimensional monster in exchange for the release of Gamora’s estranged sister Nebula.”
If you like superhero movies that are big-budget projects, then this one’s for you. Rock ‘n Roll.
Grade 80. Larry H.
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