Number 1000!!! Friday, October 28th - Larry H. publishes his one thousandth movie review 1997-2020
  
Elf
Released:  November 7, 2003
Some of you people think that I just sit around the office on Fridays waiting till noon with my feet propped up on my desk counting my money and telling other people what to do. So.

I didn't want to see "Matrix 3" or whatever it's called even though Tyson J. thinks that I'm a movie wimp just because I'm not a Matrix freak. Takes one to know one. I'll show Tyson; I'll go see a sweet holiday movie that's the exact opposite of "The Matrix Revolutions."

And derned if somebody driving a big-butted SUV didn't take my parking spot so I couldn't park my SUV in my appointed slot. If you are wondering which spot is assigned to me, please refer to my web page at larryharrison.com. I bought my ticket which is now the outrageous price of $6.00 matinee! I got my usual popcorn and soft drink but this time I added those chocolate covered raisins. Pretty good combo.

Ok, so there's this elf named Buddy (Will Farrell) who is really a human but is adopted by Bob Newhart who is really an elf who works for Ed Asner who really is the real Santa Claus. I know he is the real deal because I saw his sleigh and it is powered by a Clausometer fueled by Christmas spirit. Buddy is over six feet tall and he fits in as one of Santa's helpers about as well as Rudolph did before Santa recognized his special talents. Unfortunately, Buddy does not have any decipherable talents so his adopted father strongly suggests that he leave the North Pole and walk to New York City to hook up with his real dad.

His real dad is a shady children's book publisher whose office is in the Empire State building. Buddy's dad is played by James "Sonny Corleone" Caan who now walks slightly stooped over which I believe was caused by that terrible machine gunning episode that occurred in '72. Buddy and Dad do not hit it off at first primarily because Buddy runs around NYC in a green elf outfit singing cheerful songs, playing games, and eating candy. DNA tests confirm that Buddy is in fact the son nobody knew about.

About midway through this wannabe holiday classic, I began to doze and then I snapped out of it just before I began making noises... lest Tyson was right. After that brief interlude, I became even more determined to finish this movie along with the other three people in the theatre. During the last ten minutes of this flick, I actually became "verklept" a couple of times. Ok, so I'm a movie wimp! Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 80. Larry H.
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